the art of letting go

It may be the loosening of shackles that hold us back, or saying goodbye to loved ones , or it may be that we finally stop walking on eggshells.... whatever the case these are all various forms of release. And with that the first question I would ask is ----

How do we get ourselves to let go of a dream that seems so perfect and plausible yet most unlikely to materialise into reality.Perhaps we cling to it because there's a miniscule part of us deep, deep, deep down under the cynicism that harbours a hope of the day that the dream might just come true. Perhaps we want to hang on to it because as much as it may frustrate, to let go would mean to forget and lets face it, alot of our lives are lived vicariously in our minds.
Is it futile and self detrimental to preserve some ideas, thoughts, hopes knowing that there's as much a chance of them coming to life as it is for it to snow in the Sahara?
Or are the dreamers the lucky ones who have the luxury of their own 'parallel universes'?

From another angle-Why is it we never let ourselves forget past mistakes and troubles and hurt.... is it because that if we find the will power to get over it, it diminishes the impact of what happened and we will no longer be in the running for martyrdom?
I personally think that if we could just muster the courage to face up, deal and obviously learn from the past and then just leave it behind, lay it to rest,it would be alot easier to get on with life without ever looking back. That's the only way we heal, otherwise it'll be like Groundhog Day.... how traumatic is that?
Do we just hold on because the weight of emotional baggage, good or bad, brings tangibility to our lives?

We've accumulated a thousand memories throughout the years, those birthday candles that were blown out,the sunsets we saw, the Leaning Tower of Pisa we stood by, etc. They were amazing times. But that was then and this is now....this is what counts at this point.What is the point of reminisence? Yes it does bring back warm and fuzzy feelings..... but then we tend to end up clinging on to the past and moving on with life becomes a trudge.I mean how many times have we started a sentence with "Do you remember when..... "and "The last time when I was ...."?? Half the time we're talking in the past tense!!!
Some might even use the previous encounters as yardsticks for the future. If life always exceeds the delights of the years passed then fine, that's brilliant. If it doesn't then ... well therein lies the problem. The only way to get through the hardest times in life is not by wishfully looking back at what was a radiant past (operative word here being PAST), because its just going to amplify the on going crap. Deal with it in the now and make the best of it..... the human heart, soul and mind is capable of so much more than we them credit for.
But no matter how much we try, we are stubborn creatures and will never let things just be....I always look back at childhood photos as they remind me of a carefree, simple,magical time that I will never see again,and the memory becomes a bittersweet haunt. Bitter because it was not eternal and I always end up wishing that things would never had to change.Sweet because at least I was blessed enough to have experienced it. I will never stop missing that part of my life... and that sucks!

And as for death-When spouses, parents,siblings,grandparentspass away, the sense of loss and sorrow is incomprehensible, and part of ourselves will die along with them. We hold on to their memory so ferociously because maybe we're afraid that if we set them free, their existence here on earth might seem dreamlike and insignificant. Maybe its because they've become an integral part of us that without them we will be lost entirely. Death of a loved one is probably one of the hardest trials the human heart has to face. There's the acquiring knowledge of their passing, then the actual acceptance of the matter, and finally of course letting them go and finding peace. How does one do that??? I know I wouldn't want to! What then?

With regards to relationships-If the courtship reaches an unfortunate end because the jerk was cheating on you or because that femme fatale was just experimenting with your heart, how do you let go of that loving feeling we so thrive on.Your mind knows you have to get over it, now if you could just explain the game plan to your heart. The break up may have been years ago, but you're still hung up on it....stuck on the feeling... what then. Will you resign yourself to the role of the scorned lover and swear off romance and passion and the possibility of falling truly madly deeply in love and join the Tibetan monks or for those of you who are not into religion, become one of the sherpas in the Himalayas??
The answer is fairly obvious..... YOU HAVE TO JUST GET OVER IT.YOU JUST DO!!!
You have to allow yourself to let go to heal in the first place and well, because otherwise you'd be shutting out all the wondrous possibilities and your heart will wither away despite efforts to preserve it using the tactic of avoidance.
As for those relationships that have lived to see that day they say 'I do', both parties have to set free the souls of each other, because otherwise it becomes obsession and slavery.... the love will tire and fade away, and all we'll be left with is ownership. As my dad once very eloquently said,
"True love is about setting things free.Free your loved ones so that they can be whatever they wish to be, do not try to create them and tailor them to your fancy, that's God's work. Man's work is to BE."

Life cannot be put on a short leash, because then it suffocates and dies!!!! We try and control everything, anticipate the future so much so that we take for granted this present moment that we're in, moments that will only be appreciated in hindsight.
If only we had the courage to just live for the now and let everything else just be.
Let bygones be bygones..... don't worry about the future because if you're really concerned about the future, you need to pay attention to the present as what you're doing this second will affect the next and the next etc....

Just let it be.... Lennon was definitely on to something!