Tonight I recall a long and drawn out conversation once had a long time ago with a friend.A conversation that contrasted in opinions and beliefs.... one that did not draw resolve,only an amicable agreement to disagree.
Tonight, I remember one particular conflict-
He said: "There are NO such things as closed chapters!!
She said:"There has to be some form of closure to everything, where matters/feelings are neatly put away in a little box,kept shut!
Alas! How ignorant and naive was I!!!
Tonight,as recent happenings of 2 weeks past trigger recollection of a particular thread in the tapestry of my life,one that spans the length of 10 years, I am slapped in the face by the stark fact that there are some chapters that can never be closed and that there are certain facets of life that will NEVER be simple, or neat, or just black and white.
...and for an individual who HATES THAT COLOUR,and doesn't know how to deal with the greyness in between, the slaps are on repeat!
With all that said however, I have to sheepishly admit (to resounding echoes of "I told you so"),that sometimes GREY IS GREAT!
Grey gave 2 people a chance at something pretty sweet and amazing. Something that was thought to have been lost forever, lost many years ago, amidst silence and fear. Don't get me wrong, I am still trying to find my footing as I tread this new ground.
Its scary as fuck, it has it's thrills,its lovely... its a bittersweet limbo that I find myself suspended in.
Grey can never be understood, or boxed into a definition, or cerebralized (if that's even a word). She plays an unfair game, where we will never be able to touch her, but she has us all wrapped around her finger. She is witch, angel, reality and fantasy. She force feeds us hope and faith, because lets face it, without that, we'd all drown!
For now, I am eternally grateful to Grey for her gift of possibility....a possibility that exploded into the perfect reality!
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